Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
