How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize