it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Drake has all the answers
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
