pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
