How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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