hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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