New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
