long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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