Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
