Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
