I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
