how can u be prego again
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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