Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
