she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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