What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
