On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
