Me too!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
