Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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