she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
