i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Girls should come with a carfax report
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
