No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
