Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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