im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize