my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
