escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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