Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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