You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
