she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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