she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
