Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize