Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry D34M0N5L4Y3R hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Which ones?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

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(313): View more from Michigan

i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!

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(817): View more from Texas

He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

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(813): View more from Florida

the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.

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