That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
