I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
