I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
