I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
