when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
try to milk me bitch
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
