i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She said her name was "party"
My cat gives me a boner
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
