i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Randomize
