Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
