used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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