The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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