nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
