Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
