i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This gyro tastes like lonliness
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
