my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
