I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
