I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
