So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
