No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
