my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
