Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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