that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
