I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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