i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Too much gin, very little bucket
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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