White coat. Heels.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
