I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
