I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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