hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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